A New Year...

Happy New Year everyone (I have no idea who I'm writing to... )!

I decided to make a New Year's Resolution this year, much like I have in the years past. I decided, however, that this year it would be different. That's what we all say, isn't it? I usually make resolutions to lose weight, eat better, be a better person, blah blah blah... I never stick to it though and I get very discouraged and frustrated.

This year, I decided that in order to accomplish my goals and live up to my New Year's Resolution, I needed to get to the core of my problems. I would very much like to lose weight, eat better and be a better person, but how do we meet our goals if we don't even know why we are having to set them in the first place. It's all well and good for me to say I need to do these things, but if I don't find out why I'm having problems making them a way of life in the first place, I'm only setting myself up for failure. I turned 30 this year and don't feel like I'm at all in the place where I thought I would be 5 years ago. It's interesting how life turns out different than we plan it.

So, my New Year's Resolution is to have self-control... period... that's it! Sounds simple, right? Think again... this is a huge decision for me. I lack self-control in almost every area of my life. I am compelled by my feelings and my emotions. I've been going to the gym for almost a year now, but I'm heavier now than when I started. Additionally, I am the definition of an emotional eater. I do what I want, when I want and how I want. There are so many things that I should be doing, but I keep putting them off. So, I've made a list of all the things that I would like to accomplish this coming year and the self-control that will be required of me:

1. Eat Healthy - resist, resist resist temptation!!! It's so hard to pass up your favorite foods. I love cheese, chocolate and a good cheeseburger! Food is very comforting for me... especially when I'm bored. My biggest problem though, is late night snacking. These are all things that I will have to give up. Self Control! It will require healthy food choices and resisting the foods that I know are not good for me.
2. Work Out - get up off your lazy butt and go to the gym! I don't mind going to the gym. I'm really good at cardio workouts. But I have to incorporate some weights into my regimen. I will get the best results if I do my cardio workouts in the morning and my weight training in the evening (after working for 9-10 hours). It can be done. Self-Control!
3. Read my Bible - this has boring written all over it in my mind (just being honest). This does not have to be such a chore. It shouldn't be. If I can commit to spending 15-20 minutes a day reading my Bible and praying, I know that my overall outlook on life and my relationship with God will reap such improvement! My relationships with others will improve as well. There are times when I would much rather sit on the couch and watch TV though. Self-Control!
4. Stop drinking so much alcohol - red wine! Love it! This is not so bad in moderation. A glass or two here and there won't hurt me, but at the rate I've been going, my liver is not too happy with me. Every day when I come home from work, all I want sometimes is a glass or two of wine (and sometimes maybe more). Self-Control - have a cup of hot tea instead.
5. Get pregnant - my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for about 18 months. We are not having much success. I'm not very committed to keeping track of when I'm ovulating though. And with all the other horrible things that I'm doing to myself, it's not helping with my fertility level. I also have to admit that I'm not doing very well with my "wifely duties". We're going to have to do it a whole lot more if we expect to get pregnant. If you're reading this honey, please don't be embarrased! I love you!

So, there it is. That's my plan. Having self-control will require that I analyze every decision that I make and decide why I'm making it! I hope to improve my character and fall in love with myself this year. I definitely have not liked myself for awhile.

I will be going to the gym tomorrow. It's 10:33 pm right now and I would LOVE to have a snack, but I'm going to show self-control and resist. I don't need to eat anything right now, so I'm not going to. I'm also going to read a devotional that I bought called "15 Minutes Alone with God".

There's no better time to start a New Year's Resolution than the present!!